Monday, October 24, 2011

ICU VIGIL

During Nick's five days in the ICU, I was often found in his room or standing outside it or in the waiting area. From this vantage point, I watched the comings and goings of many.

For every occupant in an ICU bed, a constellation of family and friends hold vigil. Bound together in similar experiences, we often confided in and comforted one another.

There were the three sisters, along with their husbands and children, grieving the last few days of their mother's life, after her long struggle with breast cancer.

Fifteen years earlier, Molly's husband, Frank, had three-vessel, heart-bypass surgery. Now, in his late sixties, all of his vessels were occluded, and his time was near. As his life ebbed, Frank was lovingly tended by his wife and sons. Molly had resigned herself to the inevitable but received comfort in knowing that Frank was "returning home."

Standing less than five feet tall, in a yellow, sweat suit, Maxine hovered outside her husband, George's, room. Maxine, 85 and the mother of five, said she and her husband had been married for 67 years. George was a retired Southern Baptist minister. According to Maxine, he had been the epitome of a loving husband and father. However, during George's stay in the ICU, Maxine related he had been "out of his mind." With much chagrin, Maxine tearfully said that throughout their years together, George had never spoken to her or used such language,as was his current manner. Maxine attributed it to the medicine being used to treat George's pneumonia.

Maxine looked lost. I sensed George was her anchor. I was reminded, in such marriages as Maxine and George's the death of one spouse is often quickly followed by the death of the other.

Maxine, Molly, the three sisters and I continued to wait, watch and pray.

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