ICU VIGIL II

As we watched and waited, I became acquainted with Donna. Four months earlier, her husband, Wayne, had been diagnosed with in-operable colon cancer. After traversing the rigors of chemotherapy and radiation treatment, Donna said Wayne continued to have severe pain.

A day prior to Nick's heart attack, Wayne, at 57, had a stroke, affecting both sides of his brain. Wayne's neurologist told Donna and her two sons that Wayne would not survive the stroke. He gave Wayne only a few days to live.

Donna and the sons stayed at Wayne's bedside and reviewed each new brain with the doctor. They looked for some sign of improvement. The scans revealed the contrary.

Finally, Donna signed the Do Not Resuscitate, DNR, papers. The following night, outside the hospital chapel, Donna and I had a long talk. She was questioning her decision to sign the DNR papers. She talked of Wayne and what a strong, vibrant man he had been. We discussed the possibility the stroke might have been a blessing in disguise. It would spare Wayne a long, agonizing cancer death. We also spoke of our spiritual beliefs. On my departing for the night, Donna and I hugged, and she entered the chapel to pray.

When I saw Donna the next morning, she was peaceful. She had let go. After 32 years with Wayne, Donna knew living without him would be lonely and painful, but she appeared resolute and strong. Clearly, she would find her way.

I was fortunate. Nick came home and has recovered. I felt love and compassion for those who lost loved ones. For, all vigils come to an end, and the survivors are left to carry on.