GOD BLESS COWGIRLS

Not too long ago, I visited my nephew, Rick, and his two daughters, Evelyn, age 7, and Mary, age 2, on their cattle ranch.

During calving season, Rick keeps the expectant cows near the house, where they can be seen from the yard.

As we prepared for an outing, Rick spied a baby calf. Promptly, he straddled a 4-wheeler, put Mary on behind him and off they went into the herd.

From the yard, Evelyn and I watched.

Rick captured the calf, hoisted it onto a set of scales mounted behind the vehicle and recorded its weight and its mother's ear-tag number. Then, he tagged the calf's ear with its own number.

(The tags and record keeping process details the breeding line of the calf's mother, its sire and is followed by the calf's developmental history.)

Afterward, the four of us piled into Rick's truck and headed out. While driving, Rick put on a Garth Brook's CD, That Girl is a Cowboy, and Mary and Evelyn sang along. They particularly punched home the phrase, "Sometimes the best cowboys aren't cowboys at all."

On our return to the ranch, Rick spied another new calf. From the back seat, Mary piped up about needing to tag the calf. Then, she started talking about "balls."

I was puzzled.

Then, Rick said, "Mary, what do we do with rubber bands?"

Mary promptly replied, "Put them around the calf's balls."

I was stunned and delighted.

(Rick later explained that the calf's testicles would fall off in about 10 days, changing the critter from a bull to a steer.)

Everyone dismounted the truck, and Mary and Rick rode off to weigh and tag the calf. However, on another 4-wheeler, Evelyn and I followed in hot pursuit.

You haven't lived until you have ridden behind a 7-year-old driver. She knew no fear. I was looking for something to hold on to, but Evelyn insisted that I hold on to her, because it made her feel better.

Soon, Evelyn discovered that I didn't like driving over cow piles, so she delighted in hitting every wet one. Finally, Evelyn rolled the machine to a stop, turned around and looked at me and said, "You have something on your cheek." She immediately flicked it off with her hand and matter-of-factly said, "cow manure."

At this juncture, Evelyn demonstrated, for my edification, the proper etiquette of spitting. She leaned out over the machine and spit on the ground.

Then, Evelyn proceeded to show me how to blow my nose. Resuming her same posture for spitting, she held one nostril with her finger and honked out through the other. Then, she reversed sides.

I was appropriately impressed.

Evelyn then revved up the engine and took off at high speed to find more, fresh, cow piles.

Rick later told me that Evelyn has ridden horses for years and, in the local 4-H Club, she practiced barrel racing and tying goats, which I suspect is a prelude to calf roping.

To say the least, Evelyn and Mary are cowgirls to be reckoned with, and woe be to any cowboy who attempts to stand in their way.

AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY

Tracy Letts,
Brilliant,
Comedic,
Sad,
Oklahomans,
We're fair game,
With our burping and slurping.

Beverly, Violet and their kin,
Deep varicose veins of psychopathology,
But, not restricted to them,
Same story, different slang,
From New York to L.A.,
My God,
Haven't they had a belly full yet?



Addendum: On the last leg of my journey, this piece fell from the sky, also known as cosmic downloading. I believe we create our reality by our thoughts, which result in our actions and emotions of like kind. A work of "art" which glorifies the appalling dysfunction of our society, contributes little to the collective healing of the human community.

HEADED TOWARD NASHVILLE

Gaylords have bastardized the Opry,
Just like my home state.
Plastered their name all over the place,
Like they owned us,
They do own a lot of Oklahoma stock,
Including the newspaper.
Stinks before the fish hit it,
Republican rag,
Feeds you lies,
While they steal you blind,
Something's real wrong,
With a family needing that much money.

EMBARRASSED AND DISAPPOINTED

I am embarrassed and disappointed by many of the citizens of my home state, Oklahoma. They continue to wrap themselves in the American flag and spout "American values," along with God, mom and apple pie. Of course those values do not include "freedom of religion," "liberty and justice for all" and "give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."

Unfortunately, I recall, all too vividly, the recent presidential campaign's red-meat slinging, Christian right-winged speeches of Sarah Palin. To add insult to injury, 65 percent of our state voted for her and her side-kick, McCain. At least there was the 35 percent, myself included, who cast their votes for our intelligent, forward-thinking, current president, Barack Obama.

To top it off, our state's primary newspaper is a Republican propaganda rag, in all its ignorant and rabid glory. It rarely contains anything of positive merit on our current administration and its heroic efforts to retrieve our nation from the brink of economic disaster.

Instead, I was horrified to see on yesterday morning's front page that a city in our state is proudly hosting a visit by the disgraced, former president, George W. Bush. God help us. Send him back to Texas, with his chain saw in tow, and leave us alone. In eight years, he managed to dismantle our nation and drain its wealth into his and his cronies' pockets, that 0.1-to-1.0 percent of our nation's populace.

You might note, I did not say our "nation's elite." There is nothing elite about greed, corruption and theft. Those behaviors issue from the lowest of the low, the ever-present Robber Barons. Unlike Madoff, they have yet to receive their somewhat just due. (Madoff got off easy.) However, they have polluted and drained their pond so sufficiently that they are beginning to be exposed in all their devious machinations.

Despite my disappointment and embarrassment with the persistent behaviors and attitudes of many in my home state, I am now very proud to be an American. For the first time in my life, 62 years worth, I see hope for health, harmony, prosperity and peace for all the world's beautifully diverse peoples.

So, I will continue to recycle our state's newspaper, which I only receive for news of local events, and read more enlightened national publications, which I will also recycle. I will also work at changing my attitude toward my state's 65 percent. Because, bless their hearts, they don't know any better.